There was a lot of stupid shit to permeate American culture in the 90’s. The Magic Eye might take the cake. Children of the new millennium, your parents and grandparents would stare at these nothing posters in the hopes that image would appear.

I have nothing but hate for the Magic Eye Hoax industry. Yes, it is a hoax. They give you a poster that looks like color-vomit, and tell you if you stare at it, you will see an owl or a tiger or some bullshit like that. It’s the modern version of the emperor’s new clothes. There is no image in the color-puke, everybody who sees something is just pretending. If you say you see something you are either a liar or a damn fool. Do you know how dumb you look staring at a Magic Eye? Who gives a shit if you do see a shark? I can see an actual picture of a shark any time I want. I mean fuck why go to the Zoo? Just stare up at the clouds and wait for them to vaguely resemble animals.

What does it say about you if you see shit that’s not there? Of course a guy like Kramer is blown away by it. Why is this a good thing? I’m starting to think the entire Magic Eye corporation is just a money laundering scheme. Who is actually buying these things?

It’s not a schooner it’s a sailboat…

1995’s Mallrats isn’t an especially great movie, but it is so quintessentially 90’s. We are still pre-internet, and mall culture has not yet heard it’s death knell. This movie perfectly captures that time in American culture and of course one of the best parts pokes fun at the Magic Eye.

If you got a magic eye poster as a gift as a kid I feel sorry for you. I probably means your parents didn’t love you.