In Honor of “Nature Boy,” PBM Delivers his MC/Wrestler Comparison Piece (Part 1)

I don’t know if I have fully touched on how much I love Pro Wrestling on just yet. If ya don’t know, now ya know. I am beyond stoked for ESPN’s Flair documentary tonight. I don’t see how they fuck it up, because WWE (meaning HHH) is intricately involved, and The Nature Boy is simply too damn charismatic not have an awesome documentary made about him. With this flick premiering tonight, I figured it was as good a time as any to release a piece that I’ve been delaying for a long time. My boy BNels from Philly and now of NYC has asked me for this for years, and it’s about dam time I delivered it. The following is a list of my favorite wrestlers and their Hip Hop MC equivalents. This is not a debate – I believe it all to be fact. Hope you enjoy it.

Macho Man Randy Savage is Guru.

Technical proficiency. Electricity. Two men who simply lived in the flow of their respective art forms. This may shock some who don’t understand just how amazing Guru was at dictating the beat to match his voice and his super underrated humor. Peep “F.A.L.A.” (Fuck Around, Lay Around):

I struggled to pair Macho with Guru or the next MC who is paired with my favorite wrestler of all time. But frankly, Guru was the one simply because at their apex, there was no one better. Two men who were guaranteed to elevate each of their crafts to heights unseen. Take us home, Mach.

Razor Ramon (Scott Hall) is Nas.

Razor Ramon at his apex was the best on the mic in the business. Nas made the greatest album of all time. Razor participated in the greatest match of all time, and Nas participated in (and won) the greatest beef of all time. Razor Ramon was Scott Hall pretending to be a Tony Montana inspired bad guy. Nas’ alter ego is Nas Escobar. Need I say more? Let’s let the tape show each of them in their best battle modes.

Jay Z is HHH.

I wanted to make Jay Z Shawn Michaels to complete the circle I started drawing above. But Shawn simply isn’t as influential as Trips is to the business of wrestling. Jay Z is essentially the puppet master of Hip Hop, as he’s elevated above rhyming. HHH is the lifeblood of the current state of WWE. Each man achieved a lot while wrestling / rhyming, but it is their business acumen that separates. Hell, they each had the smarts to lock down women who only continue to further their careers (Stephanie McMahon & Beyoncé). My favorite HHH moment(s) were his custom made Motorhead entrances, and my favorite Jay is “Can’t Knock The Hustle.” Here they both are:

Frankly, when it comes to both men, you just can’t knock their hustle.

Mr. Perfect is KRS ONE.

Tactical BEASTS. Hated by so many, but loved by those in the know. They make their opponents better. They make their industries better. They are two of the all time greatest in knowledgeable fan circles and they’re irreplaceable. Ultimately, their arrogance / pride kept them from attaining ultimate mainstream success. But fuckin’ A, I love them both.

Shawn Michaels is Ice Cube.

Two of the greatest to ever do it. Period. Each one left the crew that essentially made them massive, and turned heel to do it. Eventually, the fans realized that they were far and away the most talented members of their cliques, and embraced the living hell out of them. Shawn then went on to make magic with DX, Ice Cube did so with Westside Connection. But they really shined when they’re on their own. Shawn has countess matches aside from the Razor one that are classic, and Cube’s “Predator” + “Death Certificate” are masterpieces. Now, each one is a certified superstar in their fields and some others due to their comedic acumen. Love both of them – and it’s rational, talent based love. Let’s look at the moments that made them stars:

Big Van Vader is Big Punisher.

The two most properly rated yet underrated superstars of their industries. Two big men who could flat out go rip shit riot mayhem in the ring or on the mic. Each one was a champion in their time, but for one reason or the other, their names don’t ring out as they should. Take a look at their best work:

Jake the Snake Roberts is Ghostface Killah.

Two fan favorite heels who bring such a menacing presence that it can’t really even be described. The look in their eyes screams “Don’t fuck with me.” And they each are fantastic technicians, with Jake’s work with Macho ranking at the top of the heel pyramid and Ghost contributing two of the greatest albums of Hip Hop history (“Clientele” is top 5, “Ironman” is top 20).

Part two to be unveiled tomorrow with a review of tonight’s “30 for 30.” Parts three and four coming later this week / early next. Wrestlers who will meet their counterpoint include The Million Dollar Man, Ravishing Rick Rude, The Model Rick Martel, Bret “Hitman” Hart, Jimmy Super Fly Snuka, Randy Orton, Stonecold, and more. Stay tuned, family.

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