Am I taking crazy pills or is ABC actually bringing Roseanne back to television? Who was clamoring for more Roseanne Barr? I just assumed her character and John Goodman’s would have both succumbed to heart disease by 2018 but apparently, they are alive and well. I remember watching Roseanne as a kid and thinking it was shit, I can only imagine what I would think of it now.

Are you one of the people excited about Roseanne? If the answer is yes take a long hard look at your life. When Roseanne was on the air television, in general, was crap so it was allowed to exist as a show for a long time. Television in 2018 is exceptionally good. Roseanne doesn’t stand a chance. I mean what is ABC banking on? Do they just think that everyone who voted for Trump is gonna start watching it? It’s the white-trash Cosby show so maybe they will. Maybe everyone in old folks homes across the country will watch it, it will be like an old afghan blanket keeping their withered legs warm.

Are the networks that out of ideas? ABC has canceled too many shows that were actually good. They canceled Happy Endings and Pushing Daisies both before they were done. Who is running things over there and why does he think to bring back the zombie corpse of an old television show is going to save them. What’s next Land of the Lost? Gilligan’s Island?

Isn’t John Goodman getting enough work? Why is he doing this? I know he will be in literally anything. He has been in some absolute garbage movies that you’ve probably never seen, yet pretending to be attracted to old Roseanne seems like slumming it even for him.

Sad sack Sarah Gilbert is probably doing cartwheels along with every other actor/actress who was relegated to obscurity after Roseanne went off the air. It makes sense for everyone to come back except for Goodman. I am starting to think this is all a result of a Trading Places like wager between two TV fat cats.

“I bet you I can get Roseanne back on the air in less than a year and make it a hit”

“You’re on.”

This is the most plausible scenario in my mind.