Let me just start by saying that kids are the absolute worst. People say children are the future? False. They are just a cog in a never-ending cycle of human reproduction. Don’t trust kids, they smell fear, they will find your weakness and fucking exploit that shit.

Girls can be the worse than boys when it comes to dealing with their own kind.

Case-in-point: The Pennsylvania Pineapple Incident.

VIA Butler Eagle:

A Butler High School student has been charged criminally for attacking another student with pineapple, triggering an allergic reaction.

During the lunch period on Dec. 13 at Butler Intermediate High School, a 14-year-old girl intentionally “high-fived” a 14-year-old classmate, exposing her to pineapple, Butler Township Police Chief John Hays said Wednesday.

The victim has a severe pineapple allergy and even skin contact is enough to trigger a reaction, Hays said.

She was taken to the nurse’s office, given an epinephrine pen and eventually taken by ambulance to the Butler Memorial Hospital. She was treated and released from the hospital the same day, according to police.

The 14-year-old and two other girls who allegedly had a role in the assault face felony charges in juvenile court. They were also disciplined by the school.

This is literally chemical warfare at the middle school girl level. Proof that girls and kids are ruthless to the point of willing to endanger someone else’s life. Is it bad that I kinda want to tip my cap to the perpetrator? Can we get her into some kind of CIA black ops program, I’m seeing a lot of potential in this one.

This girl used the same basic tactics of a professional assassin. Sure she might be a sociopath but a tool for every task amirite? We could be rid of Kim Jong-un in a matter of weeks if we fast track this little girl’s training.

Explain it to A-Train: If there is one thing I don’t understand it’s food allergies. Why do some people have them, where do they come from? Personally, I think you’re of pretty weak stock if you can be felled by things found in trail mix, but I’m an idiot, not a doctor. Are they passed down genetically, is it random? For some reason, I can wrap my mind around Cancer, AIDS, Down Syndrome, but I just don’t get food allergies.

Is it possible I have a deadly food allergy to a food I’ve never eaten?Will I one day be eating some weird kind of Asian blueberry and I just swell up like the girl in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.