A-Train Stays Woke: The Merfolk of The Little Mermaid Probably Committed Genocide.

History is written by the victors. – Winston Churchhill. 

Feature Image by Deborah Macy.

I want to talk about Disney’s The Little Mermaid. Specifically the so-called “villain” of the movie Ursula. She comes from a race of octopus-people (cecaelia) Ariel and her father King Triton are merfolk, we see the other merfolk in the Kingdom of Atlantica but never do we see another cecaelia. What happened to the rest of the Octo-people? Nobody seems to be asking this question!

 

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Look at this beefcake! He would make short work of an average Merman. 

 

Stay Woke: King Triton long before Ariel’s birth led a pogrom against the cecaelia to solidify Merfolk domination for years to come. Think about it. Ariel is 16 years old, Triton probably didn’t father any children until after he subdued the cecaelia, it was too dangerous and he was too busy warring. I mean look how old Triton is what was he doing with himself all those years without Ariel? He was systematically exterminating every man, woman, and child octopus-person in Atlantica that’s what he was doing.

Ursula is justifiably upset, Triton turned her entire race into calamari. You probably ate one of her relatives at some point. She is the last of her kind, bitter and out for revenge. Is it any wonder that she would target Triton’s airhead daughter Ariel. (I say airhead because the deal she strikes with Ursula is plum-dumb) Giving up your voice for a man is pretty fucking stupid and not very feminist. Disney’s male gaze omnipresent*

*I only use the term male gaze facetiously I personally hate the term.

How do you explain the lack of cecaelia in Atlantica? How do you explain Ursula’s existence? She can’t have been the only one. Somewhere in a merfolk textbook, there is a “Trail of Tears” or worse being glossed over in a few paragraphs that mention the octopus-people in passing.

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I would want to turn all merfolk into polyps too if they did that to my people.

How did Triton do it?

Octopus are smarter than fish, multiple legs would give them an advantage vs their finned counterparts. Even with far fewer numbers, the cecaelia would be a formidable foe in an honest battle fought underwater.

Remember the blankets with smallpox given to the Indians to thin their number? My historical radar is sensing an act of biological warfare made by Triton. He didn’t stop there, Nazi-like propaganda was probably employed by Triton to turn the other creatures of the sea against the octomen. That diabolical crab Sebastian was probably his minister of Propaganda.

These are just rumors and completely unsubstantiated but people are saying that Triton may have seduced Ursula (who is rumored to have been quite fetching when she was younger) The seduction was an act of espionage and he used her to gain cecaelia secrets and root them out of their hiding places for his final solution.

Triton was basically Hitler.

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Bonus Explain it to A-Train: The Seashell Bra? Why does it exist? You are weightless underwater the support is not needed.

But A-Train she’s probably just covering them up as a form of clothing…

Ok but her fish vagina and butthole are still exposed, she’s not covering those up. What’s the deal? A-Train out.

 

  1. “turned her entire race into calamari” killed me.

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