The City of Seattle Seems 100% Positive About An NHL Team. Bonus: What Do We Call Them?


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 12.49.31 PM
Our Mayor a few days ago.


All signs are pointing to Hockey in Seattle and it’s now a matter of when not if. This is great news for the city of Seattle. The team will be playing in a renovated key arena at the Seattle Center. This is great news for me as I live a short 10-minute walk from the stadium. Can you say season tickets?

I’ve been skimming Facebook comments for some of the best/worst suggestions, and have a couple of my own to throw in as well. We don’t need another Las Vegas Golden Knights situation. That name is god-awful.

Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 4.34.53 PM

Facebook teems with unoriginality let’s start with the banal suggestions.

  1. The Seattle Freeze. Can we not go with something obvious and terrible, please. I know the “Seattle Freeze” is a thing, it’s just not a thing to name your hockey team.
  2. The Seattle Chill. This is along the same line but worse.
  3. The Seattle Emeralds? An emerald is just a green rock it doesn’t even do anything.
  4. The Seattle Snowflakes. Ok, this wasn’t a suggestion  I just slipped it in.
  5. The Seattle Fog. Better than Emeralds. Still Bad.

Awesome Names I Came Up With:

These would never get chosen and I know this still I think they’d all be cool in their own way.

The Seattle Geoducks pronounced Gooey-Ducks, the Geoduck is a local bivalve (think giant clam) native only to these parts. Ok maybe a giant clam doesn’t do anything either but our rivalry with the Anaheim Ducks would take off right away.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.25.18 PM
When a clam tries to grow the trunk of an elephant you get a Geoduck!


The Seattle Cephs. (short for cephalopods) For you no-science-knowing-sons-of-baptist-preachers, the Cephalopods are any animal from class Cephalopoda, which includes Squids, Octopus, and Cuttlefish. The Mascot would obviously be a surely looking Octopus but Seattle Cephs rolls off the tongue in a way Seattle Octopus does not, and it sounds way classier than Seattle Squids.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.23.34 PM
Terrifying Monster of the Sea!


The Seattle Cranes, no not the bird. The Piece of construction equipment, they are everywhere in Seattle, it seems an apt nickname. J/K this is a terrible team name, I just needed to work the cranes into this blog somehow.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.18.04 PM
They’re everywhere!


The Seattle Chiefs. I mean our city is named after a Native American Chief. I’m also super partial to the movie Slapshot so obviously, if we could get away with Chiefs I’d be all about it.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.34.27 PM
or when you beat off and cum real quick.


The Sea-tac Krakens, Sounds cooler than Seattle Krakens and since our airport is Seatac airport it sorta makes sense. The people of Tacoma will be thrilled to be included on our pro sports team. This is taking the cephalopod idea and injecting it with steroids and meth. The Kraken, terrifying mythic creature of the deep, destroyer, badass hockey team. I’m down. Game of Thrones is still hot in the streets Krakens could have some pull you never know.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.37.50 PM
Source: Deviant Art by Eronzki999.



I’m just scratching the surface of the name brainstorm comment with suggestions of your own.

Bring back the Past:

Seattle has had hockey before and one of the most common suggestions on Facebook was for the return of the Seattle Metropolitans winners of the 1917 Stanley Cup. I’m not crazy about the names but I love the nod to the past so if the went with the Mets I think I’d be ok with that. I just am wary of sharing a name with a poopy NY baseball team.


Screen Shot 2018-02-20 at 5.46.50 PM
We are in the middle of a pretty long championship drought.

or Perhaps the…

Seattle Totems – Another throwback to a former Seattle professional hockey team.


Screen Shot 2018-02-25 at 5.56.53 PM
That’s actually a pretty solid hockey sweater.



No Matter the name, I will be happy when Hockey arrives. A-Train Out.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s