The End of an Era in Chicago: The Bears Cut Mike Glennon. (this has not officially happened yet.)

I’m a little confused right now. When I heard the Bears made cuts to their roster yesterday I just assumed one of those cut was Mike Glennon. Turns out they just cut Quentin Demps and Pernell McPhee. This is annoying because I have already titled my blog post and I don’t want to change it. Hold on let me look into my crystal ball. The ball is telling me that it won’t be much longer. The ball has been off before, but this time I think it’s correct. There is no way we keep Mike Glennon on this roster.

It’s too bad. The ladies of Chicago are going to miss this stud-muffin quarterback. When this guy took off his helmet in Chicago he was known to soak a woman’s panties to the point of dehydration.

Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.33.29 PM
6’6 most of it cock. Sploosh.

Sadly, Looks Aren’t Everything. <-This is a Life Lesson. Write it Down.

Glennon’s on the field play could not match his off the field looks, though and he got benched for the much uglier, much nerdier named…Mitchell Trubisky. This Journalist thinks that the only reason Glennon has not been cut is as a favor to all the gay and female employees (of which there are many) down at Halas Hall. An unnamed female intern is quoted as saying “Every time he’s in the facilities I just hope to catch a glimpse of that hammer jutting out from his athletic shorts, it’s seriously the only reason I still show up to work, I hate my job. This is off the record right?” I think just for company morale Glennon is here until they absolutely must cut him for cap reasons.

That will leave us with Mitchell Trubisky. I hope this guy can make it in Chicago, a city that is known to have a large population of “size queens.” A special breed of size queen that values neck length above all other traits. Mitch has a neck of average length at best. He will have to win people over with his play on the field because I just don’t see him getting too much play off the field.

I’m sorry but Mitch is a boy, most women want a man.


Screen Shot 2018-02-27 at 12.35.14 PM
Enter: Mr. Steal-yo-girl. The name’s Glennon, Mike Glennon. This Black guy helps me keep that groupie beaver at bay, I’m married. (Wink).

After the Bears but Glennon what will be his next step? Sure he could continue to hack away at an NFL career, picking his boogers on the sideline as a backup to a less attractive QB, but why not retire. Do dancing with the stars, start your acting/modeling career. The sky’s the limit. You know this Mike, your giraffe neck has you up there already. Whatever you choose Mike, ATrainSports is Rooting for You.

Atrain Out.

P.S. please give me a job.


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