I was listening to The Last Podcast on the Left. I don’t remember the episode, but they were talking about the concept of magic and magical items. To make a long story short, magic is real, (probably) and anyone can make a magic wand. If I had a working magic wand back in 2012, I might have been able to heal Derrick Rose’s knee. Maybe there was a spell I could have cast on the Chicago Bears to prevent them from drafting Kevin White or Gabe Carmini. What I’m saying is the applications to sport for someone with a working wand is endless. I have it on good authority that one of America’s most powerful wizards is from the New England area. (Surprise right? Home of witchcraft.) The recent success of the Patriots, Red Sox and Celtics may have been the result of a massive magic ritual performed at his hand.

A-Train goes down an internet rabbit hole to try and learn how to make a magic wand.

The first thing that I discovered is that there are a lot of misconceptions about what exactly a magic wand does.

The wand is used to focus energy and empower the user to do magic. The wand does not cast the spell, the person wielding it does. It is, in essence, a conduit for the transfer of the inner intentions of the wizard to the outward magic of the spell. The Wand is an extension of the person wielding it and each wand has only ONE owner.

So my wand will only work for me once I make it. If you try and steal my wand it won’t work for you…be warned. All this is coming from what I consider to be VERY reputable websites that are in NO way bullshitting me.

“any type of wood can be used to make a wand and often it comes down to tradition and culture.”

“Crystals and talismans are often added to the wand to intensify the power, the wand usually has some engraving on it depending on the belief of each individual wizard the wand is energized and enchanted by the wizard before use. Birch, Oak, Almond and Hazel are also popular. Energy can be sent over long distances and is often used in healing rituals, the energy in the wand is extremely powerful.”

but it turns out YOU have to energize the wand…

How to Energize your wand.

“First wash your hands, light incense and light a rose candle, run your left hand over your right hand, then your right hand over your left, keep doing this until you feel the energy building in your hands. Next pick up your wand in the hand you use for writing, close your eyes and imagine a stream of silver white light coming from the universe and entering the top of your head imagine it beaming down and coursing along your arm into your hand out from your fingertips and going into your wand you will literally feel the energy flowing as you charge your wand with power. Make sure when you perform the wand energising ceremony, there is incense and a lit candle, you can also use some oil essence to create the appropriate atmosphere.”

I don’t have incense or a rose candle. This might be an issue.

Once energized, I have to charge the wand which is apparently somehow different from energizing it.

“The wand works especially well for healing and enchanting, also for spell casting, the wand will unblock blocked energy and wizards use it to heal and align themselves,  they usually do this by touching the tip of the wand to their third eye and imagining silver light beaming through their body and clearing any areas where energy is blocked. The wand works on the physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.”

“a well used wand needs to be re-charged. I like to re-charge the wand with the Sun, the Moon (when full) a rose quartz and an amethyst crystal, always charge with the Sun first. As soon as you wake up place the wand outside for two hours with the rose quartz next to it and place a piece of paper with the words, “the power of the universe shall imbue this wand”, then in the evening do the same thing only you use the amethyst and leave the wand out all night. When you bring the wand inside use a smudge stick to seal the power in the wand.”

Note to self: Get rose quartz and amethyst crystal next time you are at Home Depot.

Wood Apparently Matters…

My wand will be made from the root of a Holly tree, I harvested this bad boy during some landscaping.

“You may also wish to inscribe rune symbols on your wand for extra strength, each rune has its own magical energy.”

I had not thought about Runes, to be honest, I’m not even sure what a rune is.

 

 

 

When do I choose to give the Wand it’s power? If there is one thing that I have learned about magic is that it’s connected to the stars and the universe and all that. So probably the next full moon is the best time to do this.

Ok, I did a little research and it’s almost too perfect. The next full moon is March 31st. (I’m writing this March 29th so it’s not a long wait.) There’s more…this is the second full moon of the month, which makes it a blue moon. It get’s better, this is the second blue moon of the calendar year. There have not been two blue moons in one year since 1999, making this the first time it’s happened in the millennium. It won’t happen again until 2037. I’m pretty sure that if I do this right I WILL have a working wand as an extension of my will and powers that most men can only dream about.

I will update this post after the imbuing ritual to let you guys know how the wand is working.

POST RITUAL UPDATE: The wand has been imbued with power and honestly the power it contains frightens me a little bit.  Already it has begun to work. Villanova (my pick to win it all) won the National Championship. I don’t want to take full credit but I did cast a spread-covering-spell on the Wildcats just before the tipoff so if you took Villanova and the points, feel free to bet the beak a little bit. That was my first spell and it was just a small one, as I learn more magic I will be able to affect the outcome of more games.