Like any red-blooded American football fan, I have begun to dive into the world of mock drafts. What is a mock draft? Let’s check the dictionary:

NFL Mock Draft: A list of players made by an idiot that is almost always completely wrong. Not to be confused with a fantasy mock draft which is also stupid. 

Mock Drafts are the best, they mean nothing and yet people are obsessed with them. Football writers won’t just make one mock draft oh no, they will make several iterations of a Mock Draft. You might get a Mock Draft 1.0 in January by late April you are probably on Mock 6.9 nice.

Today I saw something new and bold from the world of the mock drafts. Quinnen Williams getting drafted both first and sixth overall in the latest mock draft from Ryan Wilson at CBS Sports. I like this strategy. You can never be 100% correct so why not pick one player to go to multiple teams? It increases your chance to be right about where a guy lands.

I can say with 100% certainty that if the first 7 picks go exactly like this I will suck my own dick in front of The White House. There is no way the NFL saws Quinnen Williams in half and lets Arizona and New York each draft half of him. That would be a human rights violation.

Just going beyond the basic dumb typo of not fully updating your mock draft or somehow forgetting you had a guy go first overall and then putting him sixth, lies a fundamental lack of football knowledge. It ignores all the trends and how football is played/approached/drafted. It ignores the importance of the QB.

Are you really telling me that the first QB will go off the board at seven! The last time the first QB got drafted that was in 2013 when Buffalo took EJ Manuel sixteenth overall. The 2013 draft was truly QB light and to have a QB go past seven in that draft made sense. It makes less sense this year, teams know the value of hitting on a young QB. Furthermore, Kyler Murray is a real deal prospect, he’s not EJ Manuel. Murray is far more polished, accurate, and probably even faster. Kyler Murray ain’t falling to the Jags.

UPDATE: This wasn’t a mock draft this article had fine print:

This proves my point even more about Mock Draft Season, now people are making up their own rules! Sportswriters are now too big of cowards to do an actual mock draft that they try and side-step the mock by saying “32 Surprise Picks that could Shake-up the First Round.” This is an act of cowardice. This man Ryan Wilson made a list 1-32 that corresponds exactly with the order of the draft. He made picks for every team and says it’s not a mock because these are just picks that would “Shake things up?”

FUCK YOU. I am angrier now than when I thought it was an error. You did this shit on purpose and now the sanctity of terrible mock drafts has been profaned. 

I mean this guy thinks it’s ok to repeat players? Guess what would also shake things up if every team drafted Kyler Murray? Kyler Murray to the Patriots to backup Brady. Kyler Murray to Detroit.

Really what I’m saying is let’s get to the draft so we can analyze what happened instead of trying to predict something very unpredictable.

I mock these mocks, and I really mock non-mocks that are too big of cowards to be a true mock but still want to be mock draft posers.

-Atrain out.